By Jeanna C., KY SEAT Member

Say it with me: Grief. 

It’s a word that evokes a multitude of emotions: sadness, anger, emptiness, and even a strange sense of disbelief. It’s a universal human experience, a tide that washes over us all at some point, carrying us away from the familiar shores of life we once knew. 

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. This month, KY SEAT, the statewide birth parent council, wants to acknowledge the complexity of grief and offer a hand to those navigating its often confusing currents. 

Grief is the emotional response to loss. When your parenting is questioned, your life choices and home environment turned inside out, your decision-making abilities taken over by the state, and sometimes even your children taken away from your home, loss is present at every turn, every disruption from our sense of normalcy. 

KY SEAT wishes to be a voice for parents so no Kentucky parent feels alone. If you are a birth parent – mother or father – with current or former child welfare involvement who might be at any of the five stages of grief, or even might be going through various stages throughout the course of one day, we want you to know that we see you. You are not alone. Your grief is real. Your feelings are valid. We are all human.

Here’s what you can do if you are struggling with whatever loss of normalcy or expectations you had as a parent: 

  • Give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling, or not yet feeling, whatever that may be. 
  • Find a safe person to reach out to. If you don’t have one, contact peer support or an advocate.
  • Take whatever steps you can, big or small, to take care of you. If today all you did was brush your teeth, celebrate that win. 
  • Seek comfort in healthy ways that feel right to you, whether that’s journaling, looking at old photos of positive memories, or a cheat day sweet treat. 

Healing takes time. KY SEAT is a community of parents who have been there—who are still there—who understand. We envision a Commonwealth where parents feel seen, heart, protected, and empowered by an accountable, transparent child welfare system that supports families with compassion and respect. We are working together with decisionmakers to make this happen so that all Kentucky families can thrive. 

KYSEAT LogoKY SEAT, through a collaborative partnership of Kentucky Youth Advocates and the Department for Community Based Services, is a statewide council of birth parents advocating for and empowering others who have past experience with the child welfare system.

To learn more about what parents, caregivers, and youth experience throughout the child welfare system process, read this blog on Navigating the Child Welfare System for information and resources.

Photo by Arina Krasnikova via Pexels